“Your pirate name is Mad Grace Bonney. Every pirate is a little bit crazy. You, though, are more than just a little bit. You can be a little bit unpredictable, but a pirate’s life is far from full of certainties, so that fits in pretty well. Arr!”
‘allo love an’ Happy International Talk like a Swashbuckler Tide. Or, t’ make ‘t easier, Swashbuckler Tide. Today be th’ tide t’ dress like a sea dog (or a corporate sea dog, if that may be), talk like a sea dog, imbibe in rum, swashbucklin’ an’ other sea dogy things.

In honor o’ this fine tide, I would like t’ provide some info fer proddin’ yer scurvy dogs along onto the ship. Shipmate lingo can be found here but if ye must use a translator, as I be havin’ fer this post, use this one. Also, get a buccanneer name already! Bob, Sam or George dasn’t cut ‘t on th’ high seas; neither does Kristen, so fer th’ rest o’ th’ tide, I can only be referred t’ as Mad Grace Bonney. If ye happen t’ be moored in Sin City, thar be several places ‘ere ye can be yer buccanneer self in Las Vegas. Jus’ watch ou’ fer th’ East India Tradin’ Company (police, fer ye land lubbers).

I leave ye wi’ some photos o’ th’ gentleman o’ fortune cookies Scurvy Chex Mix an’ I made last night. Much buccaneer hijinks will ensue on tis fine nigh’; avast, Mad Grace Bonney must take o’er th’ phones at work fer eight hours. I be shippin’ out soon. Tend to the main mast, mateys, and hoist the Jolly Roger!

YO HO (A PIRATE’S LIFE FOR ME)
Lyrics by Xavier Atencio and music by George Bruns

Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate’s life for me.
We pillage, we plunder, we rifle, and loot,
Drink up, me ‘earties, yo ho.
We kidnap and ravage and don’t give a hoot,
Drink up me ‘earties, yo ho.

Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate’s life for me.
We extort, we pilfer, we filch, and sack,
Drink up, me ‘earties, yo ho.
Maraud and embezzle, and even high-jack,
Drink up, me ‘earties, yo ho.

Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate’s life for me.
We kindle and char, inflame and ignite,
Drink up, me ‘earties, yo ho.
We burn up the city, we’re really a fright,
Drink up, me ‘earties, yo ho.

We’re rascals, scoundrels, villans, and knaves,
Drink up, me ‘earties, yo ho.
We’re devils and black sheep, really bad eggs,
Drink up, me ‘earties, yo ho.

Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate’s life for me.
We’re beggars and blighters, ne’er-do-well cads,
Drink up, me ‘earties, yo ho.
Aye, but we’re loved by our mommies and dads,
Drink up, me ‘earties, yo ho.

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